Now we're entering into the big leagues. This infamously difficult 2D platformer was the first Rareware game to really gain mainstream appeal. Indeed you will struggle to find any NES fan who hasn't heard of Battletoads. Those who have managed to beat it though... those are far fewer in number.
Introducing Zitz, Rash, and Pimple. Three dudes from California who have been transformed into amphibious brawlers. One day Pimple is out cruisin' with the beautiful princess Angelica, when the two of them are captured by the Dark Queen. Now it's up to the remaining Battletoads to conquer 12 devious levels to free their friends.
Battletoads is hard to fit into a genre because it's really more of a game about gimmicks. You do some platforming and you have some beat 'em up mechanics, but these aren't fleshed out much. The enemies are simplistic and so you do little more than mash the button at them. Most levels barely even feature enemies at all or only as a short prelude to the actual challenge of that stage.
Most Battletoads levels are actually vehicle segments where you dodge obstacles. You'll be weaving between fireballs on a plane, surfing between logs, or slamming into the walls of the infamous Turbo Tunnel. These segments are characterized by their blinding speeds. You have such incredibly short windows of time to adjust to any upcoming obstacles. All of which follow each other up rapidly and not always in the most logical patterns. You really need to focus if you're to have any hope of making it through.
Perhaps most infamous of all is the Clinger-Wringer. You're on a unicycle that dashes through the stage automatically, but you lose momentum if you're not holding down the button that matches your current direction. The stage itself is a winding maze. It goes upside down and backwards and then back to normal again at the most random moments. Meanwhile you're chased by an instant-kill orb that is just slightly faster than you. It's always catching up, so you have to be perfect at every turn to maintain some semblance of distance. If you mess up and lose momentum for even a second, you may already have doomed yourself even if you do the rest well. And keep in mind, there's no checkpoints. You need to do the entire rollercoaster ride of a level in a single go, restarting from scratch with every live lost.
This penchant for difficulty is what made Battletoads such a hazing ritual for gamers. Everything is so fast and death is often instant. You have so little time to react to dangers that most can only get through them by memorizing the patterns. Even then some patterns are so ridiculous that you'd struggle to consistently execute them. Some segments are particularly cheap, such as Turbo Tunnel suddenly taking away the alerts for upcoming obstacles for the last bit. Or the backgrounds of the 7th level making it a real struggle to see what's actually happening.
Even in the "normal" levels, there's a lot of evil design going on. Enemy hits knock you down, but do not grant invincibility. This means that especially bosses will happily knock you down and then land subsequent hits that knock you down again, with no real chance for you to actually get up and counter them. Bosses in general are kind of a pain. They have so much health and such devastating attacks. Even if they don't combo you to death, a lot of their moves are instant-kills regardless. It takes real patience to take care off them without burning through all your lives in the process.
Suffice it to say, Battletoads is a trial. Both of your skills and also of your will. The game certainly has its entertaining moments, but is such a massive pain in the ass. The kind of game that starts out fun, but over time it becomes more about refusing to let IT beat YOU. At the end of the ride... it sure does feel satisfying to have beaten Battletoads. I feel at least 12% more manly now.
At the same time, I can't help but feel that a lot of potential was left on the table. Battletoads has such crunchy action whenever combat breaks out. The animations and sound-effects are great, it feels amazing to pummel your enemies. Except you then barely get to do any of that in favor of more gimmick stages. Curiously, Battletoads was intended to stand as a rival to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. It has a lot of cartoon humor and even aired a pilot episode that never led to much. But was that really viable when the main product is a video game that scarred a generation of kids for life?
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